some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm too high and old for this...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
