I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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