How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
