If that was your dad, he is hot
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
