I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
