Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
