I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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