Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
