Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
