Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
