if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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