my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
