I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
