We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
