So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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