Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
