I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
please don't ironically join a cult
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