That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize