and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
