I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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