shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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