i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
