At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
