Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
