Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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