i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
