I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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