I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I cut my penus on the lid.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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