We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
