i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
