i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
