M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
