You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
