if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
