I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
