hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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