i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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