Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
