I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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