Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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