So gin and wine won't be happening again
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
