OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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