week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
