Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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