I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
