No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
where are my eyebrows?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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