We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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