so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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