Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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