so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's just so happy...and so naked.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
