whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
