You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
