when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
