What did we do last night that was yellow?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
