i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
