I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
